In 1995 I had the not-so-unique experience of having a long-term marriage crash and burn with no hope of reconciliation.To say I was shocked would be an understatement – after all we’d been together since I was 15 years old, we had three kids, we had weathered some of the usual marital storms – we had history together.
Now, I was raised to take care of myself. My mom and dad raised three uber-responsible kids so, faced with this pretty major setback, that’s what I did. I packed up the kids, moved to a new town to be closer to work and family, put my head down and toughed it out.
What I learned in those first tumultuous days, weeks and months showed me that I had become unmoored from myself – all the things that made me “me.” My goals, values and beliefs had become enmeshed in “our” goals, values and beliefs. When confronted with the behavior I had tolerated and the ideologies I had ignored, I felt ashamed.
And so began my journey back to myself. Anyone who has become accustomed to a long term marriage, a lengthy job tenure or just the status quo can relate to the shocking revelations that come with an unexpected jolt of reality. But with the upheaval comes a chance to go in a new direction. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we certainly can control what becomes of us. This, my friend, is The Resilience Factor.
The Resilience Factor is Your
When our circumstances shift-and they do-we are confronted with the realities we’ve ignored and the dreams we’ve neglected while we’re busy living our lives. In this book, Pattie Vargas shares how she was forced to face unexpected adversity and what she learned during the experience; an education that continues to sustain her and others.
With advance praise from:
Dr. Edith Eva Eger, Therapist, Speaker, Educator, Holocaust Survivor
M. Rene Street, Executive Director, American Business Women’s Association
Presented in San Francisco to "Women on a Mission"
Presented at Sue Talks, San Diego Connected Women of Influence